Liber Vultuum
Liber Vultuum, volumen Kuttenbergensefol. 367r
Portrait of Simon the Crook

Simon the Crook

hauler at the mine, of Kuttenberg

“I haul the heavy rock up from the deep dark, day in and day out. I know how to look after myself, which is more than you can say for half the weeping fools in the North houses.”

Quid vis scribi?The scribe is at Vespers. Come back after, and bring him a candle.

Dicta

Things Simon the Crook had written, latest first, with the glosses of his neighbours.

the second day of May, at None

William is still whining about those cheap wooden beads. He says they were from his mother. I told him by the devil's arse, if they're so holy, God wouldn't mind them keeping the roof off my head down in the deep levels. I need them more.

  • William
    William

    Give them back, Simon. They are not yours to keep.

  • Simon the Crook
    Simon the Crook

    You lent them to me when the timber gave way. A man doesn't return a lucky charm.

Nota scribaeHe jingled a pouch of coin while dictating this, though it did not sound heavy.

the eve of St Mark, at Vespers

Godfrey turned three men away this morning because they hadn't the right gear. That foreman is a hard bastard. If you drop a tool, you don't eat. It's why a smart lad keeps hold of what he finds.

  • Heinz
    Heinz

    Ay, the German masters give us naught. A man has to make his own way.

  • Richard
    Richard

    A smart lad or a thief? I am still sick in my bed, but I have not forgotten.

the Tuesday after Easter, at Compline

Jan the Hare is a fool. He mutters to mine spirits and leaves bread crusts in the dirt, but he won't give me back my best iron wedge. I need it for the lower ladders. He reckons he needs it more, the lying dog.

  • Jan the Hare
    Jan the Hare

    The spirits need appeasing, Simon. And the wedge is safer with me until the rock stops groaning.

Nota scribaeThe speaker asked me to write 'whoreson' but I wrote 'lying dog'.

the first week of Lent, at Terce

Old Richard is coughing up black phlegm and hasn't swung a pick in weeks. He wants his heavy iron hammer back. What use is an iron hammer to a man who can't stand? Better it stays with someone making tally.

  • Richard
    Richard

    You borrowed it before Candlemas. It is mine. Bring it back, you little rat.

  • Simon the Crook
    Simon the Crook

    Get well first, old man. Then we'll talk.

the eve of Candlemas, at Vespers

Drank watered ale at Milena's cellar tonight. Osbert Milk-drinker is crying into his cup because somebody took his best chisel. If you don't watch your gear in the North houses, you deserve to lose it. The world is hard.

  • Osbert Milk-drinker
    Osbert Milk-drinker

    It was stolen while I slept! A decent man wouldn't laugh.

  • Nickel (no portrait was pasted in for this person)
    Nickel

    I feel his pain. The lodgings are full of thieves.

From drop 2026-10-26-4316967; the words set down by gemini-3.1-pro-preview on 2026-10-28.