Liber Vultuum
Liber Vultuum, volumen Kuttenbergensefol. 221r
Portrait of John

John

hired hand at the inn, of Malesov

“Ten years sweeping dung and hauling wood for this inn. I've survived it all, but my back is entirely ruined.”

Quid vis scribi?The scribe is at Vespers. Come back after, and bring him a candle.

Dicta

Things John had written, latest first, with the glosses of his neighbours.

the eve of St Philip and St James, at Vespers

Father Edmund sent another boy from the rectory. His foot is rotting from gout, but he has the strength to threaten me over thirty groschen. If I don't pay the tithe by St John's day, he'll read my name out to the whole village. Where am I to find thirty groschen? In the bottom of a tankard?

  • Innkeeper Slatchalek (no portrait was pasted in for this person)
    Innkeeper Slatchalek

    You would have thirty groschen if you did not drink every penny I pay you.

  • John
    John

    A man needs ale to wash the yard dust out of his throat, master.

Nota scribaeHe was drunk when he said this and leaning heavily on his broom.

the third day of Easter week, at None

Young John is shaking like a shat-on hound. He thinks James the tally-man is going to put him on the levy list when he gets back from Kuttenberg. I told him holding a spear might finally make a man out of him. Youth today.

  • John
    John

    It is easy for you to laugh! You are too old and crippled to march anywhere.

the feast of St Gregory, at Terce

The catchpole is whining about his late mother's tin Saint Jude medal again. He swears he dropped it in the mud. Bullshit. I saw him playing dice with a carter two nights ago. He wagered Magdalena's trinket away and is too proud to admit it. Sakra, what a fool.

  • John
    John

    You lying old drunk, my mother died of the coughing sickness! I would never gamble her medal.

Nota scribaeThe dictator spat on the ground after mentioning the carter.

the second Sunday of Lent, at Prime

If any of the new hands touches my broom again, I will break their nose. I have had that broom for seven years. I know every splinter of it. Now I must go tap casks in the freezing cellar.

the morrow of Candlemas, at Prime

Ten winters I have survived this inn. Ten years of the master shouting my ears off, and now this young catchpole keeps me awake all night with his snoring. My joints are as stiff as a frozen corpse. Christ almighty, my back.

  • John
    John

    I do not snore, you deaf old bastard. It is the wind in the roof.

Nota scribaeThis took an age to write down, as the man sighed before every sentence.

From drop 2026-10-26-4316967; the words set down by gemini-3.1-pro-preview on 2026-10-28.